The planet earth is stuffed with hotbeds and strongholds, which are filled with demonic forces. And here you go there to ruin their kingdom and to take away from satan his servants (the people who are still in slavery through disbelief). Let’s strengthen the picture — these places are historically called «witching places», plunged in occultism, and even some literature masterpieces are devoted to such places. Let’s try to guess — what will happen next? There will be war: either you, or devil. But you are not alone. You have three kids, a wife and a dog. You have been convinced that God had done everything, that satan in under your feet, and everything is going to be perfect after all. You come into fight and suddenly your wife gets crazy. Children are being mocked at school and are suffering because of it, because other children are calling them shtundas or sect attenders. That’s why God said that because of the lack of knowledge (and I would also add, because of romanticism and soul naiveness) the revivals die.
Many are are called, but few are chosen..
God doesn’t show favoritism. He presents salvation to everyone. And He also calls to ministry all people. People like blessings and presents very much. They more like to get, than to give. And people are taking God more like a Giver, than like the One who is expecting something from them and wants them to do something for God. When God does something for people and gives them something, they hear Him very well. But when God asks men to do something, asks them to serve the Gospel, they get deaf this very moment and stop hearing and understanding Him. And at this very moment they start «searching for God». Of course, it is logical. The God who gives you things and settles all your problems, has disappeared somewhere. He is so convenient, so pleasant and almighty.. You must search Him, you must correct Him and repair Him..
Try to agree that the egoistic nature of people refuses the God who asks a man to serve to His goals, who needs a man’s life to put God’s plans into reality, and these plans are sometimes not understandable to man. Such God is taken by carnal people as an enemy. This is exactly the reason why people have thought up many so-called «ministries» to God, which are so comfortable, secure and profitable, what is most important. Satan doesn’t mind such ministries: to wave a flag under a loud rhythmical music, or to weep before the stage, or to bend down under a loud music. This is the so-called worshipping. There is also a comfortable pastorship, teaching, evangelization. I mean, this is the so-called ministry, for which nobody will do you any harm, but on the contrary, you will be praised, you will get applause, cookies and sweets.
All this is because nobody wants to die. Though Jesus says directly: Mark 8:34,35 «If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. Foe whoever wants to save his life, will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it». I’ll set an example of the real ministry of a man, who had the right motivation, answering to God’s call. It happened in one of the big charismatic churches in Ukraine, in the middle of the 90th.
So, a young family came to God. In the church they were attending they were taught to devote their lives to God ministry. A call to missionary activity was proclaimed. And this young family totally subdued their lives in order to fulfill what they heard from the church pulpit. They visited all events held in the church, finished a biblical school, different seminars and courses. They had different ministries within the church. In fact, all their life was in the church except for the time they had to spend on work in order to have some feeding. It’s worth mentioning that already during the time the young people had to reject their career, the profitable positions, (because it all stood in the way of their ministry), from connections with relatives and old friends, from usual entertainments (theatre, cinema, just spending time in the nature etc.). All this was called «a devotion to God». And finally came the moment when the senior pastor of the church offered the family to go on a mission — to open the church in one of the cities of Ukraine. Conditions were the following: 1) There had already been a registered church there. 2) There is a little group of believers, but there is no pastor, since the five previous pastors had fled away in the unknown direction. 3) For 12 months the central church will be allocating money for rental of a house, food and church development. 4) And then they have to rely on «God’s support only».
The husband agreed unconditionally, because he’d been preparing himself for the ministry all his conscious life. The wife gave up to her husband with tears. Well, and three kids (a son of 11, a daughter of 9, and another son of 1 year and 2 months) could say nothing on the subject.
In the beginning the husband went to take a look of the town and to get acquainted with a group the believers (the promised land, where milk and honey are flowing). Impressions were contrary to expectations. Everything was much worse than expected. In the town there was a complete darkness in the literal sense of the word. Some literature stories had been written by classical authors about these enigmatic places. Unemployment, drug-dependent people, alcohol-dependent people, high level of criminality. Electricity, gas and water were there from time to time only. Both the spiritual and the economic parts were in a terrible state. But the husband understood quite clearly there was a need for a church in such a lost town. They found a flat. They agreed on the price. They found a premises for holding ministries. With difficulties they divided the budget allocated by the maternity church for the purposes. Next they were to think how they could move there with the whole family. The church was not going to help in this question. Thanks God there appeared a businessman who helped this family with many children to move to the new place. For you to understand, it’s very difficult to combine the important ministry and family life, and sometimes it’s even insecure for your family. But no matter how (the deadline for opening of the new church was 12 months), they had to force on the things. That’s why they had to live without registration, without a social help for families with many children, without contracts and so on. The status of their family was like the one of illegal immigrants. The first difficulty was very complicated economic conditions. And now try to imagine that you start you ministry on your own, in a different country and in another culture. The maternity church had no understanding of the fact, blessing the missionary ministries and motivating the ministers by the fact that Jesus had already done everything and it’s only necessary to confirm Jesus’ victory in this or that place. They didn’t understand the real challenges awaiting for the missionaries.
If we speak about God, He was faithful. There was the presence of grace, there were gifts of the Holy Spirit, there were newly-born christians and everyday bread. But the wife who agreed to follow her husband with tears, was a weak point of the chain. And satan struck to that very point. You can overcome any difficulties when there is agreement in the family. But if there is division, then only one person has to pull everything alone.
When the wife agreed to follow her husband, it doesn’t mean she agreed to follow God and be ready to missionary feat. And when difficulties begin, not of economic, but already of spiritual sphere, that is the point when everything starts getting out of control. The one who disagrees will always find arguments to his or her disagreement. Any revolt heeds arguments. The demons have arguments. And a lot of arguments. The arrows can be very different, but we have to quench them with a shield of faith. But in reality these arrows are very convincing, when they defeat the armor in spite of everything.
On the second year of their ministry in the mission problems started in the family of the ministers. Material problems were quite a natural thing. There was unemployment in the town, and the money collected in the church was scarcely enough to cover the rental of the premises. The pastor and his family didn’t have enough to feed themselves. In fact, it’s very bad and incorrect when a minister depends on his parish.
But this was not the real problem. This was only the background. The wife was attacked by the spirit of jealousy. She couldn’t tolerate the fact that women in the church paid so much attention to her husband. She was driven crazy because of jealousy. And one day she really got insane. And now just think how it is to carry the ministry in the power and spirit, when in your family such things are happening. I will try to classify the problems:
— no personal housing; and because of it the family always had to move to different places.
— lack of finance. Sometimes there was even no bread. The problems what to eat and what to wear.
— because there is no registration, there is no opportunity to receive a social help, medical service, or take children to schools or kindergartens
— It’s always a problem to get any receipt. You always have to go the the place of your registration.
— Because of full ministry, there is no least opportunity to do anything else to provide your family financially.
— The situation is getting worse with each coming year. Because there is no working life, it means there will be no pension. And it’s not clear how to live in the future.
— your wife doesn’t want to support you in ministry. She is tired of uncertain wandering life. She is in the state of revolt. She is in revolt against her husband, against church and against God.
— she is jealous of her husband and feels jealousy to each woman; she hates all church members because she is not paid as much attention and respect as her husband. A mental illness starts to progress on the background of jealousy. Because of it she ignores practically all her home duties. Even preparing food, washing and other things are put on the shoulders of her husband.
— one more pregnancy on her initiative, because she thinks her husband will leave her; that’s why she must tie him to herself with another kid; because of such a pregnancy she gets the after-birth psychosis. The delivery is very difficult. The baby hardly stays alive. In the result he has problems in development. How the life of these kind is going on further — it’s a difficult and tragic story. And if the missionary school of the maternity church had been warning about the possible consequences of such things, nobody would take the family on a mission. But the maternity church was itself staying in illusions about the sweet life in he promised land.
— children become hostages to the situation. The older they become, the more questions arise why their family is living such a way. Why do they need all this?
— The mother in law, who feels very anxious about the family, takes a fatal decision which reflects on all further life: she decides to sell the housing (which belongs to all of them) in order to move closer to her daughter. In the result the prestigious housing in the suburbs of the capital is sold for nothing. The mother-in-law and her daughter with children have no place to come back to. And all of them automatically become the hostages of the missionary choice of the husband.
In the end I have a question: what is the effectiveness of the ministry when you have a family with many children? Are they always happy, and isn’t their family a burden for them? I am not speaking about the pastors on whom the whole church is working. Quite often they publicly demonstrate their happy marriage and even issue the colorful calendars with their smiling family. They hold with pleasure different seminars and conferences on the subject of the family life. But are those people happy who serve to their happiness?
In fact, when you have many children, you have much care. A family can be happy — theoretically, and even practically. But it’s very difficult to serve God with such a crowd. I have gone through and I am still going through all the so-called «advantages» of such happiness. To be a missionary and to have a family with five children is no much fun. The first trouble is in constant transition from one place to another. It’s always a problem to rent a flat — because people are not very happy to give to rent their housing to a family with many children. The second problem is life without registration. Kindergarten, school, policlinic and other social preferences are reached with a high tension. It’s absolutely unreal to bring up children normally — I mean to give them a good education, to care for their health and to spend enough time with them. You have to rely only on God. It’s especially difficult, when a child gets ill or gets traumas. Everything connected with medicine is a separate subject. Ordinary people also have to go through all these problems. The family becomes a hostage to the devotion of the minister. He doesn’t feel easy, and his family much more. We can say that unconsciously the family is involved in a spiritual battle. I understand what the apostle Paul meant when he said that a married person tries to please his wife too. It’s a fact. You can’t tear yourself into pieces and you always have to make compromises. The ministry is suffering because of this fact. Sometimes you have to take urgent, simultaneous decisions. Here is when you don’t have any time for prayers and fasting, and no time for searching the will of God. You only have extreme and adrenalin. In order not to be the victim of circumstances, you have to take enormous efforts. You may ask: doesn’t God help? Yes, He does. But He doesn’t deliver you from that.
So, the price for preaching Gospel in my case:
Time and health are lost, and each time you have to start from a zero point.
I don’t want to describe in details all events of my life. It will be long and not positive. If I could come back on 15 years, when I was called to be a missionary from the church pulpet, I wouldn’t have agreed to take my family with me. The people who are calling you to go on a mission and send you there often don’t take any responsibility for what is happening to you there. I don’t know the situation with this question in baptist, penta-costal and adventist churches, but in my personal case it was this way.
Maybe it’s time to think deeply, that if a person decided to dedicate himself to the ministry, then his family has no choice and it becomes a hostage to his choice. Even if the wife doesn’t mind, then where is a guarantee that the nearest circumstances will not change her opinion? But there will be no way back already. The faith of one person is not automatically the faith of another person. Military men also have difficulties, but government takes responsibility for them, because it sends them to this work. But how is about this thing in churches? Do we have to blame God for everything? Or is the responsibility on the people who preach about sending others on missions? The Gospel will not be spreading without missionaries. We must be sober-minded in questions of family and children when it goes about mission. If today I had to instruct the missionaries, who are just stating their mission, I wouldn’t say «God will take care of you». I would rather say «Your own faith will take care of it».
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