What is the real love and gratitude to God for the eternal life He has given us? Let’s try to see how it’s shown in the life of a believer and how God looks at it. The best example is the life of the Apostle Paul: he wasn’t healed, he wasn’t delivered from troubles, he wasn’t risen from the dead, he wasn’t freed from debts and from prison ahead of time. He was only converted into Christianity by God’s miracle, but in spite of the fact his gratitude to Christ was much bigger, than that of the other 12 disciples. Instead of running to the Temple straight away after his conversion in order to weep and roll on the floor with tears of gratitude (by telling words only), since he persecuted the Church of God, he immediately asked God the right question, according to the subject: «Lord, what will you command me to do?», that is, «What is my predestination and your will on my life in Jesus Christ?» And immediately after conversion he started preaching the Gospel, amazing the Jews by doing so. For having done so, he afterwards received the grace to write the two thirds of the New Covenant, because he had something to say in difference from Simon (the Zealot) or Bartholomew. If they had something to say like Paul, I believe God wouldn’t have objected to it. Now let’s analyze what was the gratitude of the blind Bartimaeus, or a gentile woman born in Syrian Phoenicia: where is their martyr’s death, as in the case with Stephen – for the sake of faith in Jesus? Where is the spiritual heritage of the woman healed from bleeding, where is the heritage of the other «grateful» characters after the resurrection of Christ? Where is the preaching of Lazarus and Mary, his sister? The depth of their gratitude was expressed only by words and emotions. And it was only Paul who had left his family for the sake of the Gospel, he left his friends (Pharisees), his home, his mother, his devotion to the Orthodox, I’m sorry, to the Jewish traditions, together with his work. Real gratitude can’t be separated from devotion. And now let’s imagine that Apostle Paul had a wife and children. A question is: what part of the New Covenant should we have never read? Then let’s add a hobby, for example, fishing. Then unwillingness to fast (because of gastritis). Love to mother, which requires to give up everything and pay her a visit on the Easter (this is a most holy thing). Then religious traditions of Israel. In addition, a summer-house, work (as a Pharisee), technical service and modernization of three chariots (their preparation for the contest). Spiritual burnout and accordingly necessity of the rest in Turkey or Egypt. Plus obedience to the Law – except for the party of Pilate – not a single word about Jesus. A member of the party «Freedom to Israel from Roman slavery» and one of its leaders – Paul was a real patriot. At this the religious connection with his ancestors – nothing but Orthodox, all the rest is anathema (in those times it was equal to opposing High priests). Plus a sister suffering from cancer, who needs constant care, and her two children, because she is a single mother. Let’s add a cat with a parrot, body-building, diving, football, theatre, a healthy way of life, and if we multiply it on the paradise climate in the family we shall receive the Epistle from anyone, but not from Paul. Paul’s revelations accompanied his way of life. That’s why the one who loves to quote the words of Paul, must take not only his words, but also follow his way of life: without wife, children, home, with constant losses, with constant persecutions for the preaching of the Gospel, plus confrontation with the Jews who believe most correctly, and who support the balance between the Law, traditions, and the Gospel. It looks ridiculous to enjoy the beauty of somebody’s game, for example to try on Paul’s clothing, as if identifying yourself to the Apostle, while at the same time you are sitting in a comfortable chair, with your legs covered by the blanket, a cup of coffee in your hands, a cat on your knees, only without a cigarette – believers shouldn’t smoke, right? It’s something like watching and emotionally participating in war actions while sitting in front of the TV screen, absurdly sharing in the victory of the winner and getting his award. Christianity without devotion looks like a Temple without the Holy Spirit. The form is beautiful, but there is nothing inside. Instead of taking the flag of the Evangelic faith, the «grateful» Jewish people, who were prepared, who crossed the sea, who had been chosen, who claim for the blessings of the Father and the knowledge of God, – they occupied themselves with filling the earth and conquering banks and other spheres of influence, trying to regulate the numerosity of other nations. This is exactly what Israel wanted to see in the result of the coming of Christ. That’s why Paul proclaimed that only that Jew is a real descendant of Abraham, who preaches the Gospel. And visa versa – the one who preaches Christ is a real descendant of Abraham and the real Jew according to his faith. I believe God appreciates any form of gratitude, but here we are speaking about the gratitude God awaits from you for 2000 years already. And the absence of it not only postpones the coming of Christ, but also makes faceless the millions of Christian lives in their faith, leaving them without reward in Heavens. To be fair, in order to justly identify the results of Paul’s walking with God, we shall regard the second half, which gave us an opportunity to look into the revelations, which became the Epistles of Apostle Paul – his education and initial devotion to the works of God. God only had to edit his faith – to tell him who is the real God for today (Jesus Christ) and give him faith into the Gospel, not into the Law of Moses. Because Paul understood Gospel through the revelation, and Peter received revelations while walking with Christ, it’s unlikely that Paul had any advantages because of the fact. Now about Paul’s personality: born into a pure-blooded Jewish family (a Pharisee), he had the most prestigious education and a red diploma of the times. He was successful at his work (he professionally persecuted the Church of God, and Christians knew him and feared him), courageous and insistent (he got the letters to go to Damascus). A patriot like Moses (he killed an Egyptian), ready to lose salvation for a Jew (Rom 9), jealous for his national traditions (the 1st of May, the 9th of May, Christmas, New Year and so on), who exactly followed the Law and traditions. As it was cleared up, he also could work with his own hands (he sewed tents). He had a good reputation among the authorities – he had been given the letters which allowed to sentence people according to the Law of Moses, also allowing him to kill the Christians (as it was with Stephen, who died for his faith in Jesus). He honoured his teachers (Gamaliel), he took lessons from the famous and known people of his days. Wholesome, without addictions, self-confident, a professional in his sphere of activity (he knew the Law of Moses and the Prophets). And for the moment of his salvation he had achieved results in this world – in a word, he was a successful person, the one who knew what he wanted in life. He knew the will for his life for his time, before Jesus’ resurrection. He knew several languages. Persevering, courageous, (he was in the depth of the sea), able to suffer losses and hardships of this life. Not a skirt-chaser, ready for self-sacrifice, (he who lays his soul for the others). Fearless – he was killed twice and twice he returned to life. In difference from Paul, for example Peter and Andrew didn’t study at Universities and didn’t teach foreign langauges. Could the absence of education and absence of self-development be reflected on their understanding of the depths of God’s will, in difference from Paul? Of course it could! If we look deep into the Epistles of Peter and Jacob and compare them with the inheritance of the Apostle Paul, it will be like works of the pupils of the first grades compared to the works of a University graduate (it doesn’t mean we can’t perceive the will of God without education; it means it can take a longer time). But who will dare say that Peter loved the Lord less than Paul did? I guess no one. And who will say that Peter wasn’t born from above? It means that Paul’s education, of which he is accused by the Tsar Festus, is of a great meaning for the knowledge of the will of God and the Gospel. Evidently, to be as grateful as Paul was, it was necessary to be the one, who was well-developed and who had reached good results in the world. What are we talking about? For example, if we take the young people who are not still married, who don’t have children and didn’t graduate from the University, – I don’t even mention here the youth (though there are rare exceptions), their devotion to the Gospel for the moment of their staying in the Church is quite relative. I mean a man is ready to do anything for the Gospel, but under condition that he is married, and has children, that he has built his future in the Church or in the world: to make a career, to graduate from the University etc. And the practice shows that after he has got all the above, we lose him who had earlier been burning for Christ. But a man should lose everything for the sake of the Gospel. Unfortunately, it’s clear that nobody is going to do that. That’s why the devotion of the youth is very conditional and quite relative. So in order not to become another «collection unit», which is called «a believer», at the example of Paul we can see what is devotion, gratitude and real love to Jesus Christ. Amen!
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